Episode 18: From Martial Arts to Mindset Coaching: Confidence, Vulnerability & Self-Respect | Mitch Simpson

What does it actually take to rebuild confidence as a man in your 40s, 50s, or beyond—especially when you’ve hit a low point, lost your spark, or feel like you’re just 'getting through' life?

In this educational interview, I’m joined by Mitch Simpson—martial arts instructor turned mindset coach—who shares how discipline, self-love, and vulnerability can become the foundation for real personal transformation.

We talk about men’s mental health, why ego keeps so many blokes stuck, and how small steps done consistently create big change over time. Mitch also shares practical tools you can use immediately: self-talk and affirmations, breathing and meditation, gratitude, writing for self-reflection, and why getting outdoors can reset your head when life feels heavy.

If you’ve been telling yourself 'it’s too late' or 'this is just who I am now,' this episode will challenge that story.

Chapters

02:03 Mitch's Personal Journey and Background
03:31 Experiences at Boarding School and Cultural Exposure
04:54 Helping Men Over 40 Rebuild Confidence
05:27 Breaking Ego and Embracing Vulnerability
06:20 Martial Arts as a Life Skill and Discipline Tool
07:44 Martial Arts Styles and Teaching Philosophy
09:34 The Role of Communication and Writing in Growth
10:07 Benefits of Boxing and Martial Arts for Discipline
13:11 Self-Defense and Life Skills in Martial Arts
14:49 Progression and Intensity in Martial Arts Training
15:18 Transition to NLP and Coaching
16:17 The Impact of Personal Transformation Stories
17:41 Teaching Men and Women Differently in Martial Arts
18:37 Respect and Learning from Women in Coaching
19:52 Inspiring Stories of Overcoming Rock Bottom
21:16 Continuing Personal Development and Education
22:35 Dealing with Heartbreak and Low Points
25:41 The Power of Kindness and Support from Others
27:55 The Role of Psychotherapy in Healing
29:42 15 Years of Personal Growth and Reflection
30:10 Daily Affirmations and Self-Confidence Building
31:12 Helping Men Over 50 Rebuild Self-Image
33:01 Structured Learning and Step-by-Step Progression
34:33 Common Patterns in Men's Mental Health
37:39 Encouraging Vulnerability and Openness
39:57 The Role of Nature and Outdoors in Well-Being
43:35 Practicing Gratitude and Self-Love
44:16 Mindset Exercises for Feeling Lost
45:34 Breathing and Meditation for Calmness
47:18 The Power of Self-Talk and Affirmations
50:23 Daily Rituals for Confidence and Self-Love
51:13 The Biggest Lies Men Tell Themselves
52:44 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
54:12 Following Intuition and Gut Feelings
55:28 Memorable Experiences with Michael Jackson
58:00 Meeting Michael Jackson and His Kindness
01:00:31 The Split Persona of Michael Jackson
01:01:22 What a Confident Man Looks Like in His 50s
01:02:00 Self-Love and Confidence Reflected in the Mirror
01:03:45 The Power of Small Steps and Consistency
01:04:33 The Importance of Writing and Self-Reflection
01:05:03 The Role of Self-Love in Personal Growth
01:07:35 Walking to Work with a Positive Mindset
01:08:02 The Value of Communication and Community
01:08:50 The Danger of Isolation and Negative Self-

If you got value from this episode, don’t just sit on it—take action. 

Like, subscribe, and follow the show—it makes a massive difference and helps us reach more people who need to hear these stories. 

Share this with a mate who needs the truth, leave a review, and remember: change doesn’t happen by accident. 

It happens when you get honest, do the work, and show up for yourself and your family.

Stay real, stay relentless, and keep building your legacy—one choice at a time.

For more hard-hitting stories and practical tools, follow, subscribe, and join the conversation.

Let’s be real: your next chapter starts now...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Hello everyone and welcome to today's show. Today I'm joined by Mitch Zinkson, a martial artist of 45 years, multiple black belts, four-stand master, former instructor, and now a fully qualified mindset coach after completing a NLP master practitioner course. This is where I met Mitch on our NLP course, and we're um when we were both in our qualifications back into coach and master days. This episode is for men who are 40 plus and on the outside they look fine. But inside they feel tired, lost, and wondering where their confidence has gone. We're going to be talking about discipline, identity, purpose, and how to get your head clear again without all the fluff. So, Mitch, welcome to the show. Thank you. For people who are meeting you for the first time, who are you and what do you actually do day-to-day, Mitch? Uh well, my name's Mitch Simpson.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Um, I live in North Devon, a place called Barcel. Um I've lived here for uh since I was 18. Um my dad was in the raft and he moved abroad quite a lot. So I did were at 18, I basically decided to stay here. And it's been my home ever since. Um I had a very um I went to boarding school with my brother. Um and naturally that changed the way that I was. I was when I was younger, I was a bit of a um, I'm trying to think of the word, out there, if that makes sense. Um me and my brother, we're very, very close, but we're sort of opposite each other. Um yeah, and um I used to I used to love, I used to love playing football, um badminton, uh you know, a lot lots of sports. And then when we got to we got sent to boarding school in 1979, and actually it changed my life, my brother's life, because it was only a small school in the Corntock Hills in Somerset. There's only 250 boys in it, but it's interesting because we had so many different types of people there, you know, from ethnic, you know, and it it opens my eyes massively. Um and it made me engage with uh a lot a lot of um people from different countries, from different ethnics, from different religions and things like that, you know. And from a very young age, I'm glad that I experienced that. Um, because it's um I treat everybody the same. You know, at the end of the day, I don't hold grudges against people, uh, you know, it's it's a complete waste of time, you know. But I I love interacting with people, just talking to them, hearing about their life, what what you know, what they're doing, where they want to be, where they want to go, how they're feeling, you know. It's something that I've I absolutely love doing. And um and uh, you know, like yourself, when we on the TCM course, you know, it was that was a massive thing for me. And it and they, Lewis and Liam, completely opened up the door on a very, very large scale. Uh you know that yourself, Luke. You know, and it it was fascinating. And I and I absolutely loved it. And I'm I'm so looking forward to helping my nieces my nieces like uh to help most between 50 and 60, like you say who were tired and lost, and they were gonna go from clear to confident, which is exactly what I went through a few, you know, 16 years ago, 15 years ago. And um if my my output on that is like if I can go through that and come out the other side, then I want to help males to do that themselves. Because you know what we're like as men, you know, we don't talk, you know, we don't reach out, you know, it's like oh we're males, we can cope with everything. Well, that is a load of absolute rubbish.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

I don't know if you're gonna that is tough. The ego is a massive part of uh of a of a man's identity and breaking that down. I mean, breaking that down and trying to, you know, make people vulnerable and through vulnerability, I always say this on this podcast, that's when when we connect. But men shouldn't have to hit that low point, that rock bottom before they do open up. It's about nipping it in the bud before it gets that bad, I think. That's really, really important as a coach.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Yeah, working with men is tough, Mitch, as you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Yeah, well, you know, again, but going back to my martial arts when I first started that and I met Matt Fidesz. I'm Matt's a multimillionaire now, he's got the biggest franchise of martial arts schools on the planet. Um and he was a mentor for me. And I joined his club in 1999, and then he saw potential in me to be an instructor. And I th and I sort of went away and thought about, I thought, yeah, why not? You know, why why not? If you don't try something, you're never gonna know how you're gonna be good at it. You know, if you're not, then you're not, and then you move on to something else, and you'll eventually find something that you're really, really passive about, you know, and you and you want to help people and that, and that's exactly what I wanted to do. So when it came to the teaching side of it, um that was very intense. However, um, cut a long story short, I then ended up going into teaching in South Devon, like Exmouth, Exeter, Partsville where I am now, and and a few other. I was in eight locations. And at one stage I had the biggest amount of students. And it that for me was a massive uplift, if that's if that's at the time I was, because I was only around like 20. You know, I was born in 65 when I saw I was yes, I was about 25, you know, 25, 26, something like that. But it opened my eyes up to what to the potential that that you can gain, or or you or you if you if you really want to do something right, just go and do it. What sort of martial arts were you teaching, Matt? Uh well Matt had a Matt had it basically basically it was freestyle. So freestyle martial arts is a combination of of about several of the martial arts, and they sort of put put a plan together. Um one of the things that Matt and I did, we sat down and um we had a plan about the teaching, where to teach, how to teach, and what we were going to teach. And so I learned I learned another four four to five styles in Matt's freestyle thing. I also had private lessons. We had uh a guy called Dave Kovar. Dave Kovar uh is got the biggest franchise of martial arts on the planet, and he has done for about 40 years, and he came over for about two weeks to to basketball and you know just sat down with a guy and said, like, well, look, how do we get from here to here and that? And he was so brilliant at communication, and I picked up on that. His communicative stills were absolutely fantastic, and I I kind of embraced all of that and I took it on board. So when I went to teach, I had that knowledge that Dave had told us. And another thing that he told us to do is to write everything down. Which at the time I thought, well, why do I need to do that? Well, obviously later on in life, you know, it's uh it's come in very handy. And when you, you know, aga again, just just literally just coming back to the mindset thing, is a lot of people, you know, they they they decide to like just sit in the corner of a room and don't do anything. But unless you communicate, whether it's verbal or written down or anything like that, if you don't do that, you are never ever gonna be the person you truly want to be.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, you've got to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Absolutely, 100%. What is why is martial arts such a good thing to learn? Um I'm I'm big into boxing. I boxed uh um at a kid. I started at 11, I boxed through towards 17. My son now boxes, he's had a couple of uh boxing fights. I think it's brilliant for discipline, for fitness, for many, many reasons. What's your take on that, Mitch?

SPEAKER_02 8:53

Uh well it's interesting to say about boxing because if I had normal sight, my granddad, my mum's dad, was a boxer. And um, you know, he he was just an amateur, he wasn't a professional or anything. But um he used to talk about it when we were kids. And I I in a way, when I look back now from years and years ago, and that that sort of resonated with me, but I didn't really know that it did, if that makes sense. But um, you know, I would have loved to have been a boxer, you know, uh, but I obviously because of my eyes, I couldn't do it. So that's why I had an all uh why I wanted to do something alternative. And uh there were a couple of times where I went to some open days um in the country, you know, in Great Britain, somewhere in Birmingham, I used to go to Manchester, went London, and I used to go to these things and just and just watch them and then speak to people. And uh that's why I embraced like the what what Matt's system did was like have a you know four or five martial arts together. And but it was good because you're not just teaching one one thing, you're teaching several things. Um when we used to write out all of the uh systems that we're gonna use for each class, because the class, you know, I should teach kids between three and six, and then it was like from seven to twelve, and then it was thirteen upwards, but it's fascinating going from like seeing young children. It was only it was only literally half an hour, but actually they were more trying to think of the word now, into it than actually some of the the older ones, which is fascinating. However, the teaching skills that I amassed, along with Matt's help and uh several other people and Dave Kowal's help, um I basically transformed myself uh in into a very successful uh instructor. And obviously, I I had the biggest biggest amount of students at one point. We actually had I used to teach in a place called Ettsmouth, and Matt walked in one day with Yuri Geller.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Yeah, yeah, Yuri Geller was because Matt's a very good friend with Yuri Geller, and he came in and did his like bending the spoons and everything. But he actually joined in the class.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Uh yeah, very, very interesting. But he was a lovely man, he's a lovely man. I've been to his house twice. He's a lovely guy, he really is. He's so down to earth. But yeah, and also met the guy who played Oliver. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So so yeah, but um, yeah, so sorry, go on.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

So martial art, obviously it it's it's all about your self-defense, I think, predominantly. What else does it teach you? Um, discipline.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

It's very disciplined. Um but at the end of the day, it makes you turn into the person you truly want to be because you know when you're at school, like you sat in a chair all the time and you know the teacher's writing on a blackboard or whatever it is that I mean, obviously that's like in our days. But with the martial arts, because there's so many different styles, and I used to um teach basically two different styles per class. So we'd break it up, we'd we'd break it up. And I used to cut uh vulnerable people with skilled people. And the reason why I used to do that was like the vulnerable people who were like either shy, they didn't feel that they were good enough or anything like that, you know, that they're like, oh god, like I'm scared of that person who's bigger than me, and that well, I used to say, well, in reality, when you walk out of that door, you're in the real world. And I was saying you can't just turn around to somebody and say, Oh no, sorry, you can't do that to me, you know, and and they'll just turn around and walk off. That that's not what happens. So the curriculum that that me and Matt put together for for certain people uh actually worked in the long term and also it made this far more proactive. And that and that's the one thing I really liked about it, Luke. It's very proactive. I'm not saying it's a sport or anything, it's more like a um education.

unknown 13:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Life skill as well. Absolutely. Oh, that's yeah. Life skill edu is it's it it is an education. And obviously as as you're going up the belts, it gets it gets I don't call it harder, it gets more trying to think of the words now.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Real life. Let's put it that way. Yeah. It gets more intense. Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

So so what made you commit to doing your NLP course with uh with the coach and masters and move into this line of work of coach and then Mitch? What was the trend?

SPEAKER_02 13:37

I think but I think basically the the the um because I I started crab my car on my own, you know, uh 16 years ago um with uh friend of mine. Um and that's uh an Israeli Special Forces. Um it's not a martial arts technically, but but I'll put martial arts on it. But basically it made me think about more about what's really happening in the real world. Um I took what I what I took from it is I embraced everything that I was teaching. Um it made me far more confident than I actually thought I was. Um but I used to, you know, I used to do one-on-ones as well for people. Uh you know, I had males and females in the i i together, and that and actually, joking aside, um, you know, some some of the women I taught to were absolutely brilliant. And I I really enjoyed, you know, I really enjoyed teaching males and females together because I that's what I did, and I and I used to put males with females and things like that. Obviously, you couldn't beat each other up. However, I'm a very technical person when it comes to martial arts and I break down all the techniques. And we used to have uh I I used to teach twice a week, but first class would be like complete technical, like for two hours, and then uh about three or four days later I'd do it, and then and everybody you know we get the all the the gear on and everything like that and get and make it more like a real life scenario, and um that's that's what I really loved about the teaching, the fact that I can somebody could walk into a room and then an hour and a half later can walk out and they and they've basically learnt something that that can save their lives. You know, and and and that's what I still love about martial arts, you know. I just do grades and seminars now, but um I still love it and uh you know I I've massively embraced it, and I'm I'm not being big-headed, but I'm very good at being an instructor, and it's something that I really embrace a lot, and I took what I did from that into the TCM mindset.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

It's quite interesting what you just said about women as well, the difference between women and men. I was I was away a few weeks ago with another boxing coach, and we were talking about coaching men and women, and he was saying that what he finds when he's coaching women is they really listen. Whereas the men, maybe it is that ego that we were just talking about, they don't tend to listen and take in as much because they think that they know it all, a lot of men.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

From personal experience, I I think that actually the females actually took uh took took more of the knowledge in.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

R rather than the males did, because what you're saying is completely right, Luke. You know, it's like, oh well we're not so men aren't we, you know. Well actually not. You know, at the end of the day, males and females, we're all human beings, we're all the same.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You know, and you know, I I I think a lot of people just just just don't respect the other sex at times, you know, but that's down to them. That's their mindset, you know. But one of the best things I I did learn from I had I had a one-on-one with Lewis for about an hour just before yeah, just after I joined and I had an hour with him and that, and asked him about his background. He told me everything about what he'd been through, because obviously he'd been, you know, he went to prison and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. However, he's he that resonated with me in a way because like he'd he was at his lowest point and then he decided to change his life, and then he went right up to here, and now look where he is. So that sort of thing, well, what if he can do that, be at his lowest point, probably in his life, and then completely do a 360 and turn it round. So now he's like, you know, he's a millionaire, you know, he's part of the TCM, who are the biggest franchise on the planet when it comes to coaching and that. And I and I embrace everything that, you know, the the talks that I had with him, you know, and I wrote literally well, I write a lot of stuff down already. But yeah, I I used to write everything down. He that's one of the things he told me. He he said, if you if you don't, if you can't speak, write it.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's no important journaling as well.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Yeah. But uh I love them. I I love them both, like, you know, Liam and Lucy uh Lewis.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

And um these are the two partners that run um TCM, which is the coaching master. Just for context for the listeners, yeah, yeah. They uh they're a great partnership, and they've I ended up doing I think three, four, maybe even five courses of theirs. So wow. Over a couple of years. So yeah, and I always say to people, even if you don't go on to build a coaching business after working with them, just just the mindset stuff, just the self-development stuff, yeah, it's uh it's absolutely brilliant, just for just for that alone.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Absolutely. Yeah, no, absolutely I completely resonate with what you're saying. I really I really do. I think I've still I know now um they they've gone on to their I can't remember what it is now, they're they've changed the name, haven't they? Oh yeah, they have. The university. Well I've I've still got things to complete on that.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Oh, I've yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Because I think I think they joined them together, didn't they? So it's so yeah, so I've I've still got about three or three or four things to do there. I actually at the weekend I did some some of the stuff, so I'm gonna, you know, I think I've got about another I don't know, six or seven weeks until I've actually finished the whole shebang. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

You were speaking about Lewis with his rock bottom earlier, Mitch. So when when would you say your rock bottom was?

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Oh god. So I had a um I was married to a lady in 2006, and in 2007 I went and saw the Sex Pistols pay at uh in London, Brixton Academy. Came home the same night, and uh we got married the year before, and um I was in bed or I woke up and uh the car had gone from outside, and I thought, oh, she's gone to work or whatever it is. And uh she didn't turn up, and I thought, what's going on here? And uh basically there was a letter come through the letterbox about I don't know, two o'clock. Uh sorry, sorry, yeah, two o'clock in the afternoon, and basically she uh said, I'm not coming back.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

That was after a year.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Yeah, that was yeah, that was that was so that was in 2007 and um cut a long story short, uh I found out that she'd been talking to an ex. Um and uh she went back with him. But but the funny thing is, is like the she insisted that we got married the year before. And then and then that happened. But um but that that moment basically I just went from being on a skyscraper straight down through a pit in a a hole in the concrete floor and just going down to hell. And I was like it for about three or four months, six months, yeah. I I just did a complete 360 and I went from being a really confident, you know, and stuff like that, and I I just flipped it. And it uh it it got I got so low one day I drove down to Butte and I just stood on the edge of a cliff. And I just wanted to leave the planet. And uh when I look back now, I what I should have done is actually spoke spoke to people, which I didn't, because being a male, you know, you're like, oh yeah, I can cope with well actually internally, I I couldn't. I couldn't do it. And this my mind my mind was absolutely a shambles, complete shambles. It's almost like somebody like screwed it all up and chucked it away. But there was an elderly couple sat on a bench, and the lady came over to me and pulled me to the bench and said, Like, you know, do you want to talk? And I said, No, I want to leave the planet. And she said, Why would you want to do that? And then her husband sort of backed her up, and I was just like, Oh, you know, they're asking, so I might as well tell them. And we were there, sat there for about three hours just chatting. That's all it was. It was a nice sunny day, and it was about two o'clock in the afternoon. We just chatted and the the the lady was she's a very Very intelligent woman.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

She'd ask me these questions, and if I didn't answer them, she'd say, just give me a word between or give me a sentence between one word and ten words to the question I've asked you.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

And that's what I did. And then after about an hour, hour and a half, I started to open up and then I broke down. I I cried my eyes out. I was an absolute mess. So they took me back to their house, which was literally about a ten minute walk from where where we were. And uh you know, they said, Oh, where'd you come from? You know, and they said, uh I said, Oh, I got my car in. They said, Here's our number, contact us 24 7, whenever you want to. If you want to talk, please do it. He said, Be because you know, both of them said to me, like, if you don't interact, then you then you're gonna do it and you are will you will jump off that cliff. However, we're giving you the opportunity to actually interact with us on a daily basis until you then register yourself as a man again, and you want to go ahead and live your life the way that you want to live. And then I jumped to Michael and I'll come back to Barts of Wall. But I was thinking about what she had said and then that that started to sort of like um engross with me about like never talking, you know, not interacting with anybody, you know, uh even with my own daughter and things like that, you know. And it wasn't until later on I realized that actually um I should never have done that. I should, you know, not interact with people, that I had to interact, and if you don't do that, you're never gonna progress. And that's when uh a friend that I used to work with, he I broke down in work. And he he came up to me, took me outside, and he said, Right, I'm gonna take you to see somebody, and you're gonna listen to what they're gonna say. And he took me to a guy called Stephen, who's a psychotherapist, and he took me in there and he said, This man needs your help. Please make him better. And uh 18 weeks later, I came out of there and I my mind had changed on a massive scale.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Wow. So what happened at that period?

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Um what the the 18 weeks? So I went in I went in there and I was basically a loose cannon. I my language was appalling, I I was when I spoke to him, I spoke to the floor, I you know, my arms were folded, I was all like this, and you know, and I I couldn't look him in the eye or anything. But what he did, he encouraged me. He said, Okay, look, look, look at me for like five seconds and then turn away again. But then he would increase it. And it got to like like I think 30 seconds. But we did this on uh every team so I saw him twice a week, and basically every lesson I had with him, he increased things like eyeset, talking, body language, mindset. And that is what actually healed me on a very, very large scale, and I came out of that and I was a completely new guy. And uh, you know, and it's every I still do the stuff that he told me like 15 years ago. And um, I mean he moved away, he he he closed his practice and he moved away up country, and I and I never heard from him again. But what he did for me, Luke, was like he changed my life. Absolutely changed my life.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Rewired your brain.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Yeah, definitely absolutely. So that was 15 years ago, Mitch?

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

Yeah. So so what's happened in the last 15 years since since that rock bottom?

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Cricket. Well, quite a lot. I actually one of the first things I did was get back into proper teaching and crab my guy, and I changed my curriculum and everything. And um I actually started writing in a diary on a daily basis, doesn't matter if it was one word or a hundred words, it didn't matter. But then I had to read what I wrote out loud in front of the mirror. And I still, I still, every day before I go to work, I look in the mirror and I go, Hey Mitch, you're the best version of yourself. Have a great day, high-fired man, bang, and then I walk out the door.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

And that works for me. That works for me, and it's I do it all the time and I love it, you know, and it makes me feel and my confidence level is like through the blinking roof now. And that's why when the TCM came along, that's why I wanted to learn about the mindset and uh how we can do it. What will it take for us to go from this level to this level to this level to this level mindset-wise? And I absolutely loved it, mate. You you probably know that yourself because you've been through it yourself, you know?

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's um it's transformational, it really is, like I was saying earlier. What why do you specifically help men in their 50 plus?

SPEAKER_02 28:01

It's well, so there's been quite a few people who I used to teach. I two people uh uh specifically, a 70-year-old man and a 38-year-old man. And basically I used to do private lessons with them. Okay the reason why I did it and what I did was I it wasn't just the teaching about the Crab Magart, it was I would then put in what Stephen taught me um about being your true self, how you can like go into the open world now and like be be you, you know. Um at the end of the day, if if people don't like you for who you are, that's their loss, you know. Um, and I think basically it it gave the two guys who I specifically used to work with more a lot of more confidence. One of them, I'm not gonna mention their names, but one of them used to literally come into the classroom like this, you know, head down, things like that. The first thing I used to say was, like, well, you're looking at the floors to do 10 press-ups. But then that again, over over a period of time, that changed quite dramatically. And I was teaching for about four years Crab McGar, but now I just do seminars and gradings. But I do, you know, I I do seminars I do is all Crab McGar. And they go on for like six, seven, eight hours. But I get paid for doing that now, so I'm not complaining. But uh um I I put in everything that I learnt from Stephen and even previous to that, you know, when I when I when I first became into judo at school and things like that, and I I did uh I spent about two weekends literally writing down exactly what I'm gonna do, when I'm gonna do it, how I'm gonna do it, who am I gonna teach, how am I gonna get them from A to B to C to D to the right the way down to Z. And that's the whole worker go from A, because it's 26 26 steps, isn't it? So and I and I think of a word beginning with every every letter. So you know, and and that's and that's the way I I teach to grab my car as well, is you start from basis and then work your way up. If you go if you if you're one of these people who just like like I want to go from there to there in like a month and that, it's never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

Hmm, yeah, it's a really good metaphor for life, isn't it? It's a really good metaphor for life. You need to take those small steps. Yeah. I keep saying it all the time on this podcast, literally every week, it's all about the small incremental steps and the compound effect.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Well, I use the I I use the ladder. Yeah, the the the ladder thing, yeah. So I know exactly where you're coming from on that.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

Yeah, definitely. What is the most common thing that you see then, Mitch, with for the men that you that you've taught over the years and the men that you work with now, what's the most common pattern? Is it anger, is it overworking, is it drinking? I mean, what is it?

SPEAKER_02 31:00

That's a very good question, actually. And I was thinking about this earlier in work. I think is Luke and have asked me about what what every every male's like. I think with us because males are supposed to be egotistic, you know, we're we're not vulnerable, we're males, you know, we provide, we do this, we do that. That's a load of bullshit. You know, uh at the end of the day, I'd rather sit down who, you know, admits that that you know that that they're not themselves anymore. They're they don't talk. You know, there's there's a couple of guys who I work with, one of them especially is a very shy guy, but I go and talk to him every single day without fail. First thing I do when as soon as I walk into work, I go up to him and I go, like, should we go outside for five minutes? And we go outside and we just chat. And I'm like, hey, how you doing, mate? You know, or you know, something like Crikey, oh, you got a new pair of trainers on. Oh, when did you get them? You know, just just small chit-chat. But then he's starting now to open up more. Um, not just for me now, but with with with with the other group of people we're with. And uh, you know, that's he's been very, he's a very shy guy. He's incredibly shy. I haven't asked him why he's shy shy, but I think just looking at his body language, well maybe miles away from this, but I I think something's happened to him before, whether that's a breakup, abuse, whatever it is, and I think he's struggling to to really open up and go, you know, look, I need help. But he's not at that point yet. But I'm there for him. And I've told him that. I've said, if you want to speak to anybody, you know where I am. So I'm now waiting. He has progressed a little bit over the past couple of weeks. But uh, you know, he he's he he works with his head down and you know, he's very and he looks around at people like this and yeah. But uh I'm hoping that he is gonna make that step and um I told him I'm doing the the mindset thing and I and I I have said to him, Look, I'm willing I'm willing to let you like have a coaching session with me, but I'll do it free of charge. You know, it'll only be one it'll only be like a couple of hours or something, but I said, I'll do it for you free of charge, you don't have to pay me for it, you know, but I need you to actually start opening up because if you don't, then you're just gonna go downstairs and you're not gonna come out of the cellar. You need to climb out of the cellar, go to the first floor, work your way up to the second floor, and then work your way up to the top of the house, and then you can shout out, Here I am, I'm the man I want to be.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

It's tough though. It's so tough when we've been conditioned for years, sometimes decades. How does a man like that open up? What's the first step, Mitch?

SPEAKER_02 33:57

I know it's a tough question, it's a horrible question, but so but so basically, you know, I had my mate take me to to Stephen. I mean, and that that that that that me walking through that door was a life-changing for me. As a generalization, um I just I just think that as men we don't really admit when we're vulnerable. We don't, you know, I I'm not I'm not saying it's for every man on the on the planet at all. But I I I think I think it's we need you know, we need to um accept accountability of the way we're behaving, you know, and and if you if you don't acknowledge that, then you are never gonna progress. You know, you have to there has to come a point where you know it's either the highway or the goodbye way, and that's the way I call it. You know, if you want to travel up that highway, then you have to start from a starting point and work your way up, like follow that road until you know, it will never end, but your scenery will get better as you're walking along that road. You know, you could walk out, you can walk through a cave, and then you see the cave entrance, and you come out of the cave, and then you see blue sky, you see some trees and that. Oh, look, there's a footpath. I'm gonna walk along that footpath, you know, and then just like I I love going out in nature. I've got nature around where I live and I absolutely love it. I embrace it. You know, me, me and me other Rolf, we're we're tree huggers. We we we we just we just do it. We we just got we got an oak tree we we we hug down the road from where we live, you know, and things like that. But that that for me that for me is great, you know. I just I just love hugging this big tree, and I'm just like, yay! And then um, you know, I I I feel better. It may it may sound ridiculous to some people, but actually at the end of the day, that is what makes me confident.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Okay, so so being out in nature gives you confidence.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Yeah, because but basically you're not surrounded by cars, lorries, like noise, and things like that, you know. My partner, you know, she comes from Cornwall, we go down there, you know, we go down there to see our family and that, you know, and it's beautiful down there. Uh we we go on long walks. No, and we really embrace it because you know we we we we just love it. And and from where I am, we've got places like Saulton Sands, and we we we've got we've got about eight beaches around where where I live, and we'll go down there and we'll just sit there on the dunes, just looking out at the sea, hearing the waves, even the wind with the sun up. And it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

It is beautiful. It's one of the main reasons I moved here to the Isle of Man. It's very raw, very scenic, and we've recently got a dog as well. So going out with my dog in nature, Mitch, it's um it's bliss. Me and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Me and my family went to the Isle of Man in 1979 for a holiday.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Oh, 79, wow. Yeah, that was when it was um that was when it was really, really busy and everyone was coming here for holidays, I think, before the European.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

It's a lovely island, it really is. It's a lovely place.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Yeah, yeah, but yeah, when you were saying about being out in nature, it really resonates with me because yeah, I um I obviously grew up in Bristol in a in a big city, and I've always craved that um getting out in nature. My wife always laughs at me because I love to walk through trees just like yourself. I like to be in the forests. I absolutely love it. There's something about being under the canopy of all those trees. Yeah. It's like when you go to centre parks, isn't it? You go to centre parks and you're in and you're in amongst all the trees, and it's I don't know what it is, but um, you know, obviously we've we evolved out in nature, didn't we? Hundreds of thousands of years ago. I think there's something about it, and it's just that feeling that it gives you, and um and it's the and it is the escape from the hustle and bustle.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

It is. We've got we're well when we open our front door in the morning, but we we're live in a an 18th century cottage, which we bought like uh two years ago. And it's in a very quiet area, and uh when we open the door up, we can hear the birds singing. Um, you know, we're surrounded by you know, there's there's a few houses in front of us, but actually it's quiet. Uh we've got we've got we've got a church across there, we had the bells go on it like twice a week. But actually, you know, uh we've got beautiful neighbours, you know, we're we're all roughly the same age around where where we're living at the moment. And it it it's therapeutic, really therapeutic. Um and we got a we've got a place called Manning's Pit who where we walk down and it's got like stream. We love the we love the sound of flowing water. You know, uh we've got hills and that, we've got countryside around us, you know, it's like lovely air here, and it it it's it's it's amazing. And it, you know, I and I feel I'm the best version of me that there's ever been. I really do.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

I get where you do you practice gratitude as well, Mitch? That's one of the big things that I do now. Do you practice gratitude at all? Is that part of your part of your mind? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

Yeah. Absolutely. You know, I'm thankful for for for where I am now, you know. It's is is uh I'm probably like I said earlier, uh the best point in my life I've ever been at. Really? And you know, and I and I love it. You know, I I actually there's there's one thing that Stephen actually did say to me was he said, if you can't love yourself, who can't you love?

SPEAKER_00 39:38

Hmm. Yeah, yeah. I think I think a lot of this does come down to uh self-worth. Yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

Yes, so important.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Yeah. If um if it was one mindset exercise that you could give a man who's feeling lost, Mitch, what would it be? Meditation. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:59

Yeah, brilliant, lovely. I used to meditate a lot, but I don't do it so much now. But what I what I actually do do is um if if if I if I'm driving the car and I come home sometimes and I just park the gar in the garage, for about two minutes I just sit there and close my eyes and I just breathe heavily in like 'cause breathing is so good for calming you down.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Yeah, deep breaths.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

You know, and I used to I used to meditate a lot and um it it's something that uh you know that one of the first things I actually actually learnt from Lewis sorry from Liam, he is the one who actually told me to say, like, you know, do you meditate? Because you're a martial arts. I said, Yeah, I do. He said, Well how what's your breathing like? And I thought I used to like do that and that was it. He said, if you don't breathe, he said, your mind can't calm. And that that resonated. So that's what I do now. Even when I'm at work, I have my lunch on my own. Just I just like sort of like take the half-hour lunch break we have, and I do it on my own. And uh, you know, for about two or three minutes I thought I'll just shut my eyes and just listen to what's around me. And that's that that's for me, that's a healer.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Yeah. Did you learn to meditate through your martial arts then? Like uh like Liam said, did you?

SPEAKER_02 41:29

Yeah, yeah. I did I did it a long time ago when I was going through a a phase, a couple of phases of me life. I went back, I actually dropped it to um but then I went back into it when I when I started, well, actually about three or four years when I was working with Matt, you know, at the time. And we actually we actually brought that into the classroom. We used to like, after like an hour and a half's lesson, I used to sit everybody down and then I gave them a five-minute meditation. And they used to we asked to do that every lesson.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

Yeah, I found it really, really powerful as part of my morning, morning routine though. Yeah. Since we've got a puppy, it's it's definitely changed uh somewhat. I can get away with I can get away with doing my half hour meditations like I used to, but um, I'm hoping that as she calms down, then um I'll be able to get back into it properly. But I still get the old five minutes whenever I can, but it uh but I've really found a big difference in my mental state since I've stopped doing it. I think it's it's so calming and it's so good for you, and I've even felt anxiety and stuff coming back in. And I haven't been felt anxious, um really anxious for for years to be honest, since I've been doing all this mindset work and self-development.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

But you actually do think yourself in the mirror.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

No.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

No well I do sometimes, but not every morning. What do you tell what do you tell yourself on a scale of one to ten what at the moment? Yeah. I would say an eight at the moment. So how are you gonna get to a nine?

SPEAKER_00 43:19

By doing more by giving uh allowing more time to work on myself and prioritizing myself.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Great answer.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Oh I feel I feel like uh I feel I feel I feel like I owe you a uh mate, uh that was brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

Thank you very much. Um I feel like I needed that. But yeah, it's yeah, yeah, I do, but but again, I've been letting that slip as well. There's a few things recently that I've been letting slip with the meditations and with other bits and pieces, because you know what it's like, life gets so busy and frantic, and then we tell ourselves, I haven't got the time to do that, I need to do X, Y, and Z. And it's it's the analogy of the face masks, isn't it, on the airplane coming down. If you if you're not filling your own cup up, if you're not working on yourself, then things are gonna, you know, and it affects everyone around you as well. That's this is why I tell people. All the time. I think as coaches, it's so frustrated because we know we know this stuff. We've we've got the tools, we've got the frameworks, but we don't always do it ourselves, do we, Mitch?

SPEAKER_02 44:32

Oh, exactly. Exactly. And so that that's why once, you know, uh when when when the course of the TCM, you know, obviously I haven't finished it completely yet. But I mean it's um it's taught me a massive lesson about myself. Massive lesson about myself, like you know. And that's why like the little meditation, looking in the mirror, talking to myself. And like you like you just said, like, you know, just just breathing, going out in nature, loving yourself. Why would why wouldn't you love yourself?

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Yeah, because if you don't love yourself, then that's it, you're gonna self you're gonna self-sabotage, you're gonna procrastinate, you're gonna Yeah. Yeah, it all starts with you, and you're the one that you've gotta spend the most time with, aren't you? Yeah. In your own head. Can I set your task? For a week. Yeah, go on that.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

Right, so from tomorrow for a week, you've gotta talk to yourself in the mirror, you're gonna write down what you spoke about to yourself. Yeah, journal on it. Then you are gonna tell your other half why you've done it.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Okay. Right, I'll make a note of that. So I've got to tell my wife why I've done it as well. I know I listen to a lot of Mel Robbins, and I know that she does the high five every morning, doesn't she, in the mirror? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's brilliant, Mel Robbins. She's really good. So what do you think that is the biggest lie that us men tell ourselves, Mitt? We're not good enough. Hmm, yeah, definitely. Well, I can resonate with that, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

Yeah, I I you know, I think as males we we underestimate ourselves far too much. We beat ourselves up a lot, I think. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Um I'll give you a prime example. So last last last week I had a bit of a cold, I was coughing.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:30

And um I went on my lunch break. I'd do it on my own. Uh I went and sat in the car. And well where when I normally go now, I'll pick my phone up and I normally watch some um videos on their five-minute videos. And uh basically I didn't do it. And I I was just literally staring at the windscreen. I was eating my notes and I was just staring at just looking around and just thinking, oh yeah, but what actually came into my mind was like, oh god, I've got another three half half hours from now before I go home and see the other half. And you know, and it was all like negative, it was reactive. This went on for about a couple of days, and I and I and then I suddenly woke myself and go, like, what the hell are you doing? What are you doing? You know, you got you got a job, you've got uh your best partner in the world, you know, lovely family, everything else. Like, what more do you want? And that's when I gave myself a a slap round the face, basically, I'd slap myself round the face, and I was like, wake up for Christ's sake. You know, of being so like reactive. And then literally flipped, and that I I think as males sometimes we we do underestimate ourselves. We do. I mean, could you give me an example when you weren't underestimating yourself?

SPEAKER_00 48:01

When I underestimated myself. Well, there's been many times I would say um the last the last few years since I've been doing all this mindset work, I haven't I haven't really underestimated myself. But it was really, really, really really tough stepping out of my comfort zone, like moving here to the Isle of Man where we had a comfortable life in Bristol, but I followed my intuition. I had that gut feeling. But yeah, I um I didn't think that that we would be able to do it. It was such a big move for me and my family. So that's that's just one example. I held back for years, and I and I wish I'd done it when the kids were younger, but but better late than never. We're here now and it's worked out amazing. We've we've been here two years in August. So that's just an example, but I'm definitely following my gut more now, my intuition, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 48:52

Yeah, I think I think that's a massive thing you need to do. W gut instincts. Definitely, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 48:59

Yeah, yeah. Would you say intuition's quite a big thing for you then, Mitch? Oh, massively.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Yeah. I'm very I'm very uh the one of the things that I have learnt through martial arts and that I'm very good at reading people.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

Are you are you the same?

SPEAKER_00 49:17

I am, yeah. I think I think I am. Not to say I'm big-headed, but uh yeah, I think I can I get a good feeling for people. I I feed off people's energy. When someone walks in the room, I c I can feel it.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

Even if I just met them. And again, yeah, I'm overput that down to intuition, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 49:36

100%. 100%. But I think that's a good I thought I think that's one of the things that we're that we're pretty good at as males, is um you know, when when when this like kicks into the proactive mind mindset, I think uh it opens up a whole new world. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

I remember I remember Mitch you mentioning that you helped bodyguard Michael Jackson back in 2002. Uh what was that experience like?

SPEAKER_02 50:06

Well, basic uh basically Max was a friend of Michael for for quite a long time. Um he used to bodyguard Michael along with along with some others. Anyway, he came down to Exeter City Football Club with Yuri Geller and Crikey. There was it was um a couple of a couple of male singers from that era who were massive across the world singers and everything. And um he you know, so so there was uh there was there's about there was about seven of us who actually looked after him. And he walked down one of the corridors, he's walking towards me, he's only about my I'm only about about five foot eight. He was walking towards me. And uh I was just looking at him, and as he came close and I went, Hi Michael, how are you? Shook his hand and he went, Hi, you know, and bows and he was just like, hi, and then he we walked and he was gonna go into one of the main rooms that overlooked the the football pitch. And uh he said, I'm not going in there. And he had uh two um SAS guys with him at all times, bodyguarded him closely. David Blaine was there as well. God, he was yeah, something else. And then Michael turned around and he started walking up and he and I said, Oh, I said, What do you think about where you are now, you know, extra and that? He said, he he had a quite quiet voice. He when he when he looked at you, you know, he'd look at you and then like look away. So that that's anxiety, you know. But he was a quiet guy anyway. And I said, That room you've just come out of, what's what's going on in there? And he said, Oh, come and have a look. So I walked up with him and we we walked in, and there was about twenty families with disabled children there in wheelchairs. And I I think it was about twenty or that. But he gave them money. But he was so kind around the children, he he was he was brilliant, he was really, really good with them. And then um basically he had then had to go out onto the pitch, and there was a massive stand. Matt was standing behind it with an umbrella, and he he went from this very shy thing, it's just suddenly like, Dello, here I am, you know. And he was very vocal and it was great. It was uh yeah, he was really, really good. And then he sort of like turned into himself again when he came off the stage. As he came off, we we were stood right in front of where the platform was, and we we were holding hands with disabled children in wheelchairs around it. I welled up. It was it was just so good with the kids. He really was. Uh you know, he was fantastic, and then we we there was like four cars, we then drove, they they closed Exeter City down completely. We drove through through the city, went round by the cathedral, and he was staying in one of the hotels. He then jumped on top of his car because there was a load of fans there. Oh, that's the noise was unbearable. However, but he came out, and then he went he went so went upstairs and did all the waving and everything like that. And then later on in the afternoon, we jumped on the train and went up to London. We stayed at Chelsea. Chelsea plays a whole floor on the top floor, and uh we went down to Soho, and there was a Michael Jackson tribute act down there. Yeah, we walked in, and nobody knew he was gonna be there. Then the lights went down, he went on stage, and the lights come up, and the guy who was impersonating him failed. Because it was the real one, and he he did the moon walk and everything like that. He was only on the stage for about 15, 20 minutes, and that was it. You know, it wasn't on there that long, and then he went out, and then he um I think the following morning he flew back to to America. But just just meeting him. Yeah, uh he came across as a very he was very shy, you know, I say with the eye contact here. However, when we were when we were sat in the in the hotel room, we weren't in there for very long. Um he was just sat in a corner and he was very head down and he was in ordinary clothes, pair of jeans, t-shirt, you name it, um things like that. But once he got out into the public eye, he just flipped.

SPEAKER_00 54:32

Did a three it was like a split personality.

SPEAKER_02 54:35

Yeah, but I found him to be a really nice, kind man. He was you know, he was he was lovely. Um and i everybody spoke to him. He was very kind and he was very, you know, open. Yeah. Um but yeah, he was a lovely guy. But but that's just my point of view, you know. But uh yeah, he was great.

SPEAKER_00 54:53

What year was that, Mitch? Was that was that back in his heyday? Was that in the nine mid-90s? 2002. Oh, okay. Yeah, after the millennium, oh right, okay. Yeah. So what does the clear, confident man in his mid-50s look like, Mitch, in his marriage with his kids and his in his own head? Well, what he sees in the mirror.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

What do you mean by that? If you're confident enough to praise yourself up in the mirror, then what does that tell you about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 55:29

It's going back to that self-love, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 55:31

Again, it's the eyes. You know, the eyes the eyes tell the story. Because if your eyes are walking all over the place or they drop or they go to the corners and upstairs and all this sort of thing. You know, I've always always found when I was teaching and that, when I used to teach people, even on one-on-ones, whenever I start talking to them, they go, and I go, no, look at me in the eye. And I I wouldn't shout at them or anything, I'd just be speaking like I am now. I was just like very clear. I'd say what you're doing is like like like at any technique, I'd say what you're doing is right, but maybe you should put your hand here or here, because then the the other hand can do this and do that or whatever, you know, and that. But it was it was very interesting for me for what I went through to then becoming this like very, very good martial arts instructor. And there was a couple of guys I see where I I was looking at myself from like ten years previously, and I and I sort of resonated with why they were the the way they were, but I used to speak to them after the class, and I just used to take them to one side and just say, you know, I say, Christ, you did really well today. And they said, Well, what did I do that was better? I said, Well, you look me in the eye for one thing. I tell them you held it. I said, So if you can hold your head up rather than down, what's that telling you?

SPEAKER_00 56:55

I think it's what you truly believe when you are looking yourself in the eye in that mirror and talking to it to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 57:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

Yeah. Like you said, so many people they wouldn't be able to do that. They wouldn't be able to look themselves in the eye, they'll be looking down, they'll be looking around, and they won't be able to do it. But but again, this is it's it's just those small steps. Definitely. In the right direction, making progress. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

You know, if you wanna if you wanna if you wanna make progress, and like I say, the two things I do, a A, you know, so you know, I'll write stuff down, and then I'll read it. And if I don't like it, I'll screw it up, and then I'll write something more positive, and then I'll read it again, and I'm like, ah, now I know what I'm you know, what what mood I'm gonna be in, you know, and to get in the mirror thing that you know? It it's just I know it sounds stupid.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

Yeah, and it does it and it feels stupid in the beginning, doesn't it? Yeah, it really does.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

Yeah. If you cannot love yourself, who can't you love? Yeah. You can you love it. Yeah, and that's so important. That's one of the best well that's one of the best things that Stephen ever said to me. He said, if you cannot love yourself, who can you love?

SPEAKER_00 58:10

Yeah, and it's uh and everything's a reflection, so the whole mirror thing is that's it, isn't it? Well you can see you can see what your face is doing. Yeah, the mirror doesn't lie.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

Doesn't lie.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Yeah, it's so true. It's so true. So if you could go back, Mitch, and speak to your younger self, what would you say? Knowing all the stuff that you know now, all about mindset, about NLP, and for all the things that we discussed throughout this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 58:43

That's a very good question.

SPEAKER_02 58:46

I would probably say that I made made mistakes. When when I I'm not gonna lie, when I was young, I was a right idiot. I really was. I really I thought I was someone I was not, and I and I screwed up on a lot of things but um actually being able to communicate not just verbally but body language, your eyes, reading people I just I just think that as males sometimes we underestimate ourselves far too much and um you know be the man who you want to be, man. You know, just tell yourself how great you are, you know, again and again put it in blinking get one of these out and write everything down, you know, and it's you know, and until you do that, you're never gonna make that small step. Small steps are the best things you could do to to lead to the bigger steps. You know that yourself, you know, and it and it and it's something that I still resonate with now. You know, well I walk to work, I'm about a an eight to ten minute walk from where I work. When I walk out the door, I don't care if it's raining, snowing, pissing down, or what whatever it is, I've got the same mind fray, you know, and I walk down there, I stick my music on, and I'm like, yeah, and I and I sing on all the way to work. And when I get there, I take them out and I'm like I walk through the door and I'm like, hey, here I am, guys, let's have a great day, bang. You know? Yeah, yeah, you know, it's uh I've got a real personality and well you probably know that now, but yeah, but I I like you know I love communicating with people and I think communication is the biggest thing that males really don't do. They don't communicate. And you know, I I want to help the guys go from where I was to the pinnacle of who they are, truly are. You know, once they've hit their true self, that they have hit their true self, then the world's an oyster. You've just got like whatever you want to do, go and do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:01

Go and do it. Yeah. I remember um you've said commun communicating so many times, right? Uh this chat Mitch. And I remember when my grand when my granddad um retired, he's one of the things that he really struggled with was not having the banter with the lads on site and at work, and he really, really struggled. But I think as humans, uh again going back to the nature, nature is a great thing for us, but it's having that sense of community could because we are tribal creatures and that's so so important.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:33

Oh, absolutely, 100%. Yeah, yeah, absolutely right. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:37

Yeah communicate. When we isolate. Communicate. When we um yeah, when um when we isolate ourselves and and we keep things to ourselves, it we're just digging a deeper hole for ourselves, aren't we?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:49

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Why why why would you want to fall down a pit and not know how to get back out of it? Yeah. You know, what do you do if there's no ladder there? How are you gonna get out of it? Well, you'll find a way. No matter what it takes, you'll find a way. And once you come out of that hole and you're in the fresh air and you're in the the in the breeze or whatever it is, then you can go, hey, I can walk wherever I want to now, and I'm gonna do it. And I'm gonna be the man who I really am.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:17

You can give yourself a pat on the back. So, what does the next chapter look like for you, Mitch? And where can people find you?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:27

Right, so basically I'm starting an online business. It's called Mind Mindset, but it's N-Y N D F instead of like M-I-N-D. So, so so basically for for males between 50 and 60 and that who are lost, like I say, feeling lost, but want to become very confident in that. Um, we've got a three-month three-month online um coaching.

unknown 1:02:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:52

Through the stuff that obviously we've learnt, and but but I've done my own little things as well on top of that. And now, and then just like see like um see their progress from being what they may feel like small to becoming like this massive like powerhouse of a man. Carry on doing that, you know, with with your life. Like climb the ladder slowly, don't rush it. Because I there's a couple of, you know, there's there's a couple of people I've spoken to before where they've done a course in a month and basically within about two or three weeks they've gone straight back down to where they were. Oh, this is a three-month one, and it's it's it's well, it's gonna be intense, and it is gonna be intense, and you're gonna have to literally, you know, face yourself and go like, you know, well, I've done this wrong, or I d or I never did this and I should have done it. Well, now's your chance to do it, you know, we'll set you tasks. You have to do them to progress. If you don't want to progress, then you're not gonna do it. But I know you can do it. I know you can. I've done it, you certainly can do it, you know. And that's and that's one of the things that I love about life. You're like now, you know, I've got another 40 years on this planet, man. You know, I'm 60 now, I'm gonna be 140 years, but do you know what? I'm gonna go and live my fucking life. Sorry for the bad language, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:19

No, no, I um I love your energy, Mitch. So thank you so much for coming on today. Oh, I love when I started the podcast at the start of the year, I always remembered you from the coaching masters, and I always thought I said, I uh you know, I've got to get him on. Yeah, I've got to get you on. I I think anyone who's listening to this or 40 plus, because I coach men in their 40s as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:42

And they're you know, they're feeling tired, they're feeling lost, they feel like they've lost their edge. It's it's nice to know that they're not alone and they're not and they're not done. So thanks for taking the time to come on here today and share your wisdom, Mitch. And whatever you do, don't stop what you're doing, mate.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:59

I'll not, I won't. Hold on. If you ever want me to come back on again for you, Luke, I will do.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:03

Yeah, definitely, mate, because the I've got I've got such a long list here about all the things that we could have spoken about and and we didn't go through half of them. So I'll definitely get you back on, Mitch, okay. Brilliant. Thank you so much for today, Luke. I really appreciate your time.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:17

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:17

No worries, mate. Take care, Mitch. Yeah, high five. Cheers, mate. Cheers, buddy.